DEAR JANIS

You were a waitress in a bowling alley.
A keypunch operator.
You lived in Port Arthur, Texas.
You sang with power.
You had such majesty in your delivery.
Your parents wanted you to be a school teacher.
You started singing the blues at the age of fourteen.
You listened to Leadbelly.
You moved to San Francisco in 1963.
You started with Big Brother and the Holding Company in '66.
You wore colorful boas in your hair.
You were sexual in an innocent way.
Pure energy.
Psychedelic.
Earth Mother.
Agitated.
Frenetic.
You longed for a peaceful escape.
You knew you would never own one.
Your solace was a harpoon and a red bandana.
A bottle of Southern Comfort.
Night after night you beat yourself to death.
You said making love is like singing.
You were damned to loneliness.
Port Arthur High School laughed you out of class,
out of town,
out of state.
You didn't get asked to the prom.
A doctor told your mom:
"She will end up insane or in jail by the age of 21."
You cut your second album at the age of 25.
God! You sure could sing "Summertime".
You sang bluegrass and folk for free beer,
in a scum-bag bar in Austin, Texas.
You sang at Woodstock in 1969.
You never wanted to wear phony eyelashes.
You said, "Screw the cameras".
You said you were happiest in a bar.
Feelin' good was good enough for you.
I miss you, dear Janis.

METAL WALL SCULPTURE

I hung a large, metal wall-sculpture today.
I'm putting some finishing touches on our new den.
My wife is used to me doing these things.
My body isn't up to the task anymore.
My mind must compensate for my lack of physical endurance.
First, I ask her where she wants it.
She has me hold the heavy thing in place.
My lower back and legs are screaming in pain.
I say, "How much damn longer?"
"This is torture!"
She replies, "I want to see if I want it that high."
I rest for a few minutes, and try another position.
"This damned thing is killing me", I say.
She says, "There!" "That's perfect!"
I say, "Hurry up and mark the bottom corner."
"My back is killing me!"
I measure the width of the love seat,
'cause it's centered on the wall.
Then I get my center point for the wall hanging.
Then I measure out from the pencil mark.
I measure down to get the bottom corner.
I get the sculpture's topmost point from one side.
I drive my nail in where the hanging eyelet is welded,
on the inside of the assembledge.
I hang one side and have my wife put my level
in the center of the piece.
I pivot the un-nailed end to where I think it should be.
I ask my wife, "Is the bubble in the level dead-center yet?"
She says, "Huh?"
"What bubble?"
My back is aching and my legs are shaking.
I try to contain my rage and frustration.
I reply, "Look at the gall-danged level, for Chrissakes!"
"Here, I'll move the sculpture up and down,"
"Do you see it now?"
She replies in amazement, "Oh yes!"
We get it level and I nail it home.
I am her hero.
Next time I'll pay my contractor twenty-bucks
to hang something like this.
It will be worth it.

ONE MINUTE

One minute can change a man's life.
His name was Darrell.
I met him at an AA meeting.
He was young, black, educated and good-looking.
His sidekick was a white dude, named Steve.
The three of us became friends.
Initially, we "worked a good program".
Things were looking up for Darrell.
He was a smart kid.
He got a job as a cook.
The restaurant was one of those fancy five-star joints.
A french restaurant.
Darrell was making some serious cash.
Anyway, our friend Steve got drunk again.
His wife threw him out.
After this happened, Steve came back to AA.
His wife still wouldn't take him back.
Steve longed to see his kids.
He cried alot.
Steve ended up drinking himself to death.
They found his body in a dark hotel room.
Darrell and I went to his funeral.
Darrell ended up with a nice girlfriend.
She was a good-looking girl.
He met her in AA.
Darrell ended up moving into her condominium.
I had them over to my house, many times.
After about six months, things went bad for my friend.
He lost his job.
He ended up working midnight shift at a convenience store.
He hated this.
Darrell quit coming to meetings.
He wouldn't answer my phone calls.
He started drinking and smoking crack cocaine.
Darrell's girlfriend told me that,
she changed the locks on her doors.
She was really afraid of him.
I had no clue where Darrell was.
One day, I read in the newspaper,
that Darrell killed his girlfriend.
He chocked her to death.
He bound her hands and feet.
He put duct tape on her mouth.
Darrell is doing life without parole.
He didn't mean to kill her.
By the grace of God, I'm still sober.
One minute can change a man's life.

"BINGO"

Today melts quickly like an iceberg.
Another day takes it's place.
I realize how much I need to learn.
My mind tells me that there is not enough time.
I fear that I will go to my grave an ignoramous.
This is a frightening fact!
Science claims that we only tap a part
of our brain's possibilities.
Ten percent is the average of what they say we use.
How do I tap into the unused reserves?
Hmmmm.
Magic mushrooms?
Prayer and meditation?
Accelerated study and reading?
Naw.
It's all a waste of my precious time.
Age is on me now.
It covers me like a heavy cloak of darkness.
My short-term memory is deteriorating.
I'm forgetful.
I lose things.
I forget phone numbers, including my own.
My mind is melting like an ice cube.
It will be solid, but more like Jello.
Soon, I won't realize how much I need to learn.
I'll be a happy guy.
I'll think that I'm pretty smart!
I'll be "pleased as punch".
I will smile when I yell "Bingo",
at the senior citizen's center.
I'll go to my grave a happy ignoramous.
It won't matter.
I won't realize my shortcomings.
I will be blissfully happy in my ignorance.
We aren't meant to understand all of life's mysteries.
If we knew everything, life wouldn't be fun anymore.
I'm glad that I'm not a "know it all".
The pressure must be overwhelming to be this way.
"Bingo!"

I READ IN THE PAPER THIS WEEK

I read in the paper this week that:
The government of Iran will no longer stone to death
adulterous females.
Instead, they will hang them.
This is progress?
I read this week that:
Fifty-eight Christians were murdered.
They were murdered in their own church.
They were worshipping their God.
They were butchered by the Al-Queda.
This occured in Iraq.
I read this week that:
More people were murdered in Afghanistan,
Pakistan,
Haiti,
Senegal,
Mexico,
Chicago,
New York,
and London.
I read this week that:
San Francisco may ban toys with happy meals.
Happy meals are fattening.
Toys make children happy.
We need thin, unhappy children.
We need them in shape.
We need them to fight wars in:
Iran,
Iraq,
Afghanistan,
Pakistan,
Haiti,
Senegal,
Mexico,
Chicago,
New York,
and in London.
Chinese toys may be toxic!
Don't put that toy in your mouth!
Don't eat candy!
Don't eat pizza!
Don't eat those greasy hamburgers!
Don't eat those yummy milkshakes!
Don't listen to rock and roll!
Now march!
Get into your room!
Grab your weapon!
Prepare for the future.

I VOTED TODAY

It's November 2nd and I voted today.
I'm happy to say.
I voted for a despicable man.
I know he'll pull scams!
But mostly for MY interests.
It's the American way!
What can I say?
We lie, steal and cheat.
We're light on our feet.
We talk out of both sides of our mouths.
We're the masters of clout.
I hope my man wins.
Although he has sins,
My vote counted today.
Hip-hip-hooray!
On a more serious note.
It's a sorrowful vote.
The Repubs and the Dems,
Are none of my friends.
They just serve the rich.
This is the hitch.
They'll increase their pay.
Then just run away.
With the money I earned.
They might serve two terms.
It's the land of the free!
Democracy.
What's in it for me?
Anxiety.

CARNIVAL YEARS

There was a strange carvival ride.
I saw an evil clown smile at me.
A dirty carnie strapped me in.
There was gum on the seat.
It stuck to my jeans.
I remember the eerie, dusty fairway.
The shrieks of terror.
This couldn't be real.
I found out it was.
It was a one-way ticket.
The car didn't return.
The tracks ran short,
Like all human expectations.
My carnival fears,
My wasted tears,
My youthful years,
Were spent alone in the crowd.
I heard the maniacal laughter.
I saw the gay lights in the distance.
The abstraction of mirrors,
Were my carnival years.
It was a dark ride.
But, I had thrills.
Spills.
Chills.
Come one, come all.
For the greatest show on earth.
Enjoy the mirth.
While you still can.
Expect your rebirth.
Let's give three cheers.
For our carnival years.