MY BUCKET LIST

I would like to skydive with the "Pussycat Dolls". They would be wearing skimpy bikinis, and we would land at Hef's mansion...We would proceed to the grotto and drink Mojitos and eat "kick-ass" hor-de'-ouvres. I'd like to meet Quentin Tarrantino, Clint Eastwood, Uma Thurman, Steven Hawking, Bob Dylan, and Michael Jordan. I'd visit Australia, Japan, China, Germany, Denmark, France, Holland, and Evil Beaver, California! I'd party at the "Burning Man" festival, fly in the Space Shuttle, Run a sub-three-hour time at the Boston Marathon on Patriot's Day, win a bizarre foods eating contest, have dinner with Mickey Rourke, break the age barrier and win American Idol, at 62! Due to the marvels of modern medicine, I'd like to be able to grow new, wavy hair on my bald head, and walk around without pain. I'd like to live long enough to see our scientists find the secret to eternal life and unlimited joy!

I'd also like to see them find a cure for alcoholism and drug addiction. Then, and only then, would I buy a fifth of good, single-malt scotch, and a bag of primo pot! I'd celebrate my youth and immortality by getting "drunk as a Lord"!

Then I would get bored.

All good things must come to an end. It sure ain't fun hanging around for centuries like some old vampire. I would have done so much "stuff", life wouldn't be fun anymore......We are never fully happy. This is the nature of the human condition. Perfection is impossible, and being perfect wouldn't be fun anyway. If God is Perfect...He must be pretty bummed out!...Hmmmm. At least He doesn't have to die, or make silly lists like me. If He did have to die, I wonder if He'd want to skydive with the Pussycat Dolls?

THE JOYS OF CYSTIC ACNE...from: "The Journey"...Memoirs of a Southside Chicago Kind of Guy...available on Amazon.com

I couldn't just get zits like normal kids. I would have welcomed blackheads. No, I had giant weeping pockets of pus, which left pockmarks all over my face and body. I looked like a "lunar landscape". All the remedies were tried, applied, and finally denied by me as useless. Prayer, meditation, masturbation, exacerbation, strained relations, no copulation and sweet isolation were a part of my life. All caused by my pizza face.

I wish I had read the great Charles Bukowski, at the time. He might have given me some relief with the knowledge that some other human being, having a creative soul, had also experienced this cruel torture. "Alas", I thought, "I was alone." Bukowski, the skid row poet laureate, who was the owner of the condition know as "Acne Vulgaris", and a more severe drinking problem than I would ever aspire to have, might have comforted me in my teen years. We had much in common. We both made out. We both got laid, we got paid, and as I learned from his writings, we all got "way-layed" in life.

So ye of not-so-fair-complexions, raise your glasses high, and drink to your imperfections! There are greater joys and woes, coming for you around the corner, pizza face!

HAVE YOU HEARD THE WORD?...from "Chicago Stories": available on Amazon.com

In the 60's I heard that the "Bird" was the word.
The Beatles told me that the word was LOVE.
So did Jesus.
Ginsburg said the word was OM...
or Hare Khrishna.
Have you heard the word?
Word is out the the streets...
that Freddie is dead.
That's what I said.
But who cares?
Maybe Curtis Mayfield.
But now, he's dead too!
Word is, that the stock market is coming back.
What word is significant?
God, war, sex, drugs, enlightenment, cash, security, illness, death, birth, rebirth, insanity?
The word is that it's all in the mind.
Pick the word.
And pay the price.
Pick door #1...door #2...door #3...
The price is right.
Which door is it behind?
Put the words together in the right way.
And you get to spin the wheel of fortune.
If you lose...
You still have your religion, unless you are losing it...
Like R.E.M.
The word of God...The word of love.
John Lennon said he was more famous than Jesus Christ.
His words sure got him in trouble!
His words were true.
Jesus and John Lennon were damned by the people.
They both were crucified for their words.
They both were murdered.
They both said the word was LOVE.
Have you heard the word?
What are YOU going to do with it?

REALITY IS A "MONTANA" STATE OF MIND

It came to me in a flash...
Reality is a "Montana" state of mind.
Where the birds and the trees...and the big skies
envelope you in their majesty.
Reality ain't in a keyboard, my friends.
Not in an IPOD or a GAMEBOY.
This facebook thing is pernicious, dangerous, addictive,
vain, and time wasting.
Reality isn't how many facebook "so-called-friends" I can accumulate.
I don't want to be like "Predator", collecting skulls for the
walls of my facebook spacecraft.
Reality isn't my flashy new Caddy or eating at all those five-star restaurants.
It isn't measured by my book or art sales.
Reality isn't the notches on my belt, for showgirls I planked in Las Vegas.

Reality is a "Montana" state of mind.
The open range...the fresh air...prairie flowers...faithful dogs...
laughing children...and sweat on my brow from splitting logs.
Reality is eating a hearty breakfast, and laboring for twelve hours.
Reality is over tipping a hard working waitress or bartender.
Reality is putting a greasy chain on a bike for a smiling 8 year old boy.
Reality is hiking with my wife.
Turn off the TV...Read a good book...Have a good cup of coffee.
Keep a "Montana state of mind".
This is reality.

LOVE...from: "Chicago Stories"...available on Amazon.com

We rise to love.
For all that really matters involves love.
We rise to love, if we truly live.
What else is there in life...
But to be near you?
We rise to love...
If we are faithful and true.
We two, are one.
Under God's view.
We are what is best, if...
We rise to love...
Through all adversity.
Through pain and torment...
Through rejection and illness...
Even the loss of all we own,
We rise to love.
For what has more meaning?
What has more importance?
Not fame or education.
Not wealth or beauty.
Through health, illness, and death...
Love is most important.
Being loved is the most important reward.
The greatest loss is the loss of real love.
So rise up, and love the ones who love you best.
Nurture your love.
Make your industry one of love.
Love freely and openly.
Spread the love around...
Especially to those who would have none of it.
They might rise to your love, for they need it the most.
They have nothing to lose.
You might open their empty hearts.
Some of them will rise to accept your love...
Hear the melody of your special song.
Follow your song of love.
The time to love is now...don't wait...don't be late.
Rise up to love.

THE ONE I LOVE

the one i love...
accepts me, after all the evil I have done.
she is beautiful.
i don't deserve her.
i got lucky.
love sometimes hurts.
the pole dancer knows this.
i see them with vacant stares.
dollar bills thrust down...
into private areas...
G-strings.
it's pathetic.
the one i love is a madonna...
a friend,
a whore,
a confessor,
a goddess,
all these things.
I am faithful to her.
She accepts the goodness in me...
the evil,
she loves my mind,
my body,
for she is the one i love.
my madonna,
my whore,
my best friend,
my confessor,
my goddess.
I asked her: "what is guilt?"
she answered: "do you want to dance with me?"
she is my madonna,
my whore,
my best friend,
my goddess,
she is the one i love.

RIDE ON THE THOUGHT

Ride just like a cowboy.
Ride on the thought.
You gotta' show the horse, who's the boss.
Stick those spurs in deep, cowboy!
Make your thoughts race!
YOU are in control now.
Race your horse, until he gets lathered up.
Then gently clean him.
Take care of him.
Brush him.
Talk to him.
Give him water.
Feed him.
Give him an apple.
Give him a couple sugar cubes.
You and "the horse of thought" are one.
Nurture yourselves.
Make sure you know what you are thinking.
Be sure of the clarity.
Don't open your mouth...
without riding the thought, long and hard.
You don't want to sound like an ass.
Don't run your mouth like some kind of "freaking" moron.
Get on that horse!
Sit erect in the saddle.
Make sure you do your research!
Then ride the horse.
You've got to learn it...
to earn it!
It sure ain't easy, being a cowboy!