Friday, December 23, 2011


'twas the night before Christmas
and all through the land
shopping was frantic
from newsflyer spam
people were shoving and pushing the door
'til the hinges broke
need i say more?

new michael jordan's
must be owned, you see...
and they just had to have
that color tv
mace is used
by the gangsta' crew
to get what they want
so watch out...achoo!

fights are developing
in store parking lots
and policemen are hired
to keep a vigilant watch
'tis the season to be jolly
hey!...don't you see?
drinking more liquor,
taking dope...

the hoopla will crash
and the market will too
when this years charge cards
bring gloom to you...
in january there's a letdown
but don't ever fear
there's always the superbowl
for more wine and beer.

so happy birthday jesus
you're a cool-cat dude
we hope you remember us
when we're sick from good food
and bring me that harley, that caddy, and dough...
after all it's christmas,
so bring me more blow.

we wonder why people hate us here
in the land of the free
the home of the brave...
so would ya screw 'em lord?
they don't drink no beer
they just pray, work
and stay at home bored
they ain't hip to reality shows
and hollywood bling
it's time to bitch, swing and fight...
so merry christmas america
and to all you hep cats
i bid yah, goodnight!

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