INSANITY

i don't need to know what are the best wrinkle creams of 2011...
or how to sleep all night...
or what depression pill to take for the depression pill, that doesn't work...
or anything that's advertised for $19.95 on those info-mercials...
but wait!...you can have 2 for this price plus the veggie-nator
naw...i'll take a pass

i don't need tv commercials showing:
virile males getting trucks out of mud holes...
using a sweaty horse, while he wears his cowboy hat
looking like a young tom selleck
coming home to pop a viagra
and banging a chick half his age
while "Suzie-Q" plays in the background

i don't need democrats or republicans
religious affirmations
plastic santa clauses or reindeer games
endless flyers in my Sunday newspaper proclaming that:
"this is the sale of the century!"

i do need a nap
a frigerator full of food
a good dump in the morning
a trusty vehicle
a gym with clean towels
a pension check
and a wife who puts up with my insanity

i've got all that squared away
life is grand
my daughter isn't in jail
and neither am i
it's a beautiful thing
my life.