TITHE

the corpulent priest waddled to his pulpit
i sat in my pew eyeing a vixen's legs
a week before christmas he made his pitch
"five-hundred dollars a family"
to keep the boat of catholicism afloat
i knew right then and there
i would excommunicate myself

this irish alcoholic
drinker of fine single malts
driver of new cadillacs
smoker of cuban cigars
taker of vacations to ireland
rome and other exotic places
wants more than i can afford
i knew i would not tithe
or believe in decrepit mythologies
not anymore

so i broke my elderly mothers heart
when i told her i would never atttend mass
ever again
so be it
and so it is written
and so it was done
and i never went back
and i don't regret my choice

because in the news yesterday
i see the church stands on the side of misogynists
who seek to take the rights away from women
who seek to control their own bodies
and conceive when they want to conceive
ain't no hail to notre dame for me
anymore
i see where the church takes its stand
and i absolve myself from catholic guilt
finally

i stand on what is right
i choose not to stone the infidels
those harlots named by rush limbaugh
are my compatriots
and all that is holy
is not so holy anymore
and if my soul burns in hell
so be it
because hell must be a holy place
where tithes are fair
and democracy hails
for everyone