I READ IN THE PAPER THIS WEEK

I read in the paper this week that:
The government of Iran will no longer stone to death
adulterous females.
Instead, they will hang them.
This is progress?
I read this week that:
Fifty-eight Christians were murdered.
They were murdered in their own church.
They were worshipping their God.
They were butchered by the Al-Queda.
This occured in Iraq.
I read this week that:
More people were murdered in Afghanistan,
Pakistan,
Haiti,
Senegal,
Mexico,
Chicago,
New York,
and London.
I read this week that:
San Francisco may ban toys with happy meals.
Happy meals are fattening.
Toys make children happy.
We need thin, unhappy children.
We need them in shape.
We need them to fight wars in:
Iran,
Iraq,
Afghanistan,
Pakistan,
Haiti,
Senegal,
Mexico,
Chicago,
New York,
and in London.
Chinese toys may be toxic!
Don't put that toy in your mouth!
Don't eat candy!
Don't eat pizza!
Don't eat those greasy hamburgers!
Don't eat those yummy milkshakes!
Don't listen to rock and roll!
Now march!
Get into your room!
Grab your weapon!
Prepare for the future.