I'M STILL HERE!

im still here you bastards!
you worked me like a slave
played your mind games on me...
i was your whipping boy...
but no more!

im still here...
though you cut me.
overmedicated me.
put me through psychoanalysis.
rehabilitation.
annihilation at your hands...
but im still here!

im ignored, abhored, bored, by the clucking chickens
out there...just talking shit.
you don't look at ME anymore.
you see?
im still here...maybe you left.
you disregard this old man.
i ain't down for the count.

i played your game.
i had youth, good looks, fame.
fine cars, piano bars, armani suits...
and languid women who looked at me...
with longing eyes...
as they vapidly sipped their martinis.
yeah...we sat in upscale hotel bars.

i thought i had it all.
i thought i had knowledge.
i had nonsense...i was insane.
no depth...my life was a cipher...
a wisp of hot air.
i had no wisdom...
no salvation...
in my recreation.

in desperation, i came to my senses.
im still here!
i gave up my illusions...i hope.
i lost loved ones.
do we ever say enough?
i faced horrible disease, with more courage...
than i thought i possessed.
i was put to my knees...unwillingly.

but i emerged.
a strange metamorphosis...
i became a phoenix.
reborn, into a mind more clear.
im still here!