It's finally here!
A sonic hearing device...
That looks like a 'blue-tooth'...
I just saw it on TV...
So it HAS TO BE TRUE!
I hangs offa' your ear.
It increases your hearing...
By 50 decibels!
Now I can throw away...
My $4,000 Siemans Corporation,
digital hearing aids!
They never worked anyway.
Now I can listen in on private conversations!
I can be a detective.
I can hear what people are saying about me!
I can hear what GIRLS are saying about me!
I can be a SPY!
I am just so excited, I can't stand it!
Now I need to find some X-RAY glasses!
I'll be able to see women, 'nekid'!
Man, could I have some fun!
I hope my X-RAY glasses cost $19.95, too!
I won't wait!
I'll have my credit card handy!
Maybe I can get two-for-the-price of one!
If I break a pair of glasses...
I'll always have a spare!
Watch out ladies!
Here I come!
from: "Chicago Stories and Other Thoughts from a Working Class Guy"...available on Amazon.com