I KNEW SANTA WAS A LIE

I found out about the Santa Claus lie.
I was seven-years old.
My older brother told me that Santa didn't exist.
Bastard!
I suspected that Santa was a lie, anyway.
I saw my dad putting my toys together.
Then he lied to me, and said that "Santa did it".
I experienced two betrayals in one day.
This is no way to treat a seven-year old.
No wonder I became an alcoholic!
Most Santas are drunks, too.
Some are pedophiles.
These guys are predatory Santas.
They are Santas with "claws".
Meow!
Most guys who play Santa are hurting for work.
Who else would want this lousy job?
I sure wouldn't want runny-nosed kids,
sitting in my lap for three or four weeks.
Jesus!
Can you imagine the germs?
Santa probably has to spend all his hard-earned cash on
anti-biotics and cold remedies.
Santa might even have to go to the hospital.
He might get a staph infection and die!
Then there's the inflated hospital bills.
Oy!
Jesus died for our sins.
Some Santas die for our children.
Remember to give Santa an extra five-spot this Christmas.
He deserves it.