I'm finally breaking down. I just bought a brand new TV. I got sick of seeing the "big heads" on my full-screen, non-HDTV model. I longed for panoramic views. I bought a Sony Bravia, with all the "bells and whistles". I couldn't pass it up...the prices were way-low.
Yet, somehow I feel dirty and low-down. I sold out. I'm a freaking hypocrite! I swore I'd never get on the "nuevo-techie" bandwagon. But I have to admit, I'm kinda' excited! I'm getting a brand new DVR, TV stand, surround sound system, sleek new profiles on the TV, WiFi, Gamboys, Gamegirls, internet capability, higher speeds, and a whole array of things I don't need, don't know how to use, and don't understand.
I'm going to have the Geek Squad and Comcast set up all this technological garbage for me. I will pay "huge bucks" for special cables and cable boxes, to upgrade my viewing experience. I picture myself being able to watch three football games simultaneously while my wife watches Julie Andrews in "The Sound of Music"...all on the same screen! I will probably go into an epileptic seizure from the vast array of color and flashing lights...all provided for me by this new technology!
I will be happy until I discover what I bought is already obsolete. Next year 3-D sets will be less expensive, and I will want them instead of what I have now. Now, my cable bill is going to be more than my mortgage payment. I will have to have two part time jobs in order to make ends meet. I'm not going to have much time to watch TV anymore. But I will have achieved another facet of the American Dream! God Bless America!
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