We now are the "old and lonely guys".
We have become the guys we used to laugh at.
Old bums or geezers living alone in trailer parks.
Guys who toiled in thankless jobs at factories.
Warehousemen, construction workers, cops.
All worn out and confused.
Sad that our wives have died.
Our children have moved.
We are happy for their success.
But why can't they call more often?
Once we were heroes.
In war, on football fields, or on dance floors.
It's all gone now.
Some of us still talk about these times.
Most of us don't share these tales anymore.
We've worn them out.
Many of us stare out of nicotine stained windows.
Bar room windows.
We smoke packs of butts.
We go on coughing jags.
Whiskey serves as a cough syrup.
Our bodies are denying us.
We just don't feel right anymore.
It all went so fast.
It was never supposed to be like this.
Sometimes the kid in the trailer across the street,
hauls my empty garbage cans back to my porch.
This makes me smile.
I love petting my cat, and falling asleep in my chair.
Most of the time though, I am lonely.
I spend too much time watching TV.
I don't worry about dying anymore.
I never thought I would be so brave.
It isn't courage, really.
There's just nothing left for me to do.