Saturday, January 15, 2011


You're working at what you think is optimal functionality.
You are at the top of your intellectual game.
Students and professors look up to you.
You are linking facts together.
Weaving and extrapolating into unknown ideational territories.
The connections lead to new, other connections.
You study sixteen, sometimes eighteen-hours a day.
You eat to stay alive.
You smoke cigarettes and drink coffee to stay on the edge.
Finally you isolate yourself from people, social events, and God.
The psychotic break comes ever so slowly.
You don't realize you are losing your rational mind.
You can't reason your way out of it, no matter how hard you try.
Your old mind is gone.
It never comes back.
Your synapses have been burnt too badly.
You realize that you will never cerebrate at a genius level, ever again.
You accept this sad fact...after years,
This is the worst feeling.
You admit defeat.
You settle for less.
You realize you are normal.
Yes, you accept "normal".
But you always wonder,
"What if?"


  1. make me laugh! And fortunately for all of will never be normal! You are what is known as "Extra Normal" an "Entertainer" and an "Intellectual Provocateur"...all you need to do in the morning to be brilliant is to fall out of bed! mj

  2. loved this: been there! and oh, i never want to go back. the only small difference between this psychosis and my own? i got closer to god, to the divine mother until i had become her. ah me... human after all. thank god. xoxoxoxoxoxo