LONELINESS

sometimes i felt so lonely...
i found some solace there,
on the breasts of a...
fuck machine.
her void looks and displays of...
theatrical love,
were paper mache'
but...
first the exchange of money,
for sex, no love.
then i felt nothingness.
alone
orgasm, or not.
it's over,
always over.
then silence,
washing up,
lighting smokes,
drinking more cheap whiskey.
yes, alone,
with my thoughts.
always those damned thoughts.
which led nowhere.
mad thoughts,
angry,
hopeless,
driven to a maze, familiar...
unescapable,
fetid,
my prison is.
that's what desolation was...
yeah.
did you ever feel it?
fuck it.
it's over now.
for now.