AFGHANISTAN

why the hell was i in afghanistan?
the weather vacilates from bone chilling cold,
to sweltering hot.
We march up winding trails.
rough terrain.
rock and mountains.
everything is weird.
we dig in, while we are being shot at.
it frightens me.
we are in a valley now.
they shoot us like fish in a barrel.
we go into villages.
we kill the taliban.
but we also kill "friendlies".
my company commander says it is unavoidable.
he explained to the afghani elders that:
"your sons take money from the enemy to fight us."
it is explained to them that they will have riches,
if they fight for us.
it seems so insane.
i remember seeing my first dead man.
then more were killed.
my friends.
the guys who came here with me.
we were on such a glorious adventure at first.
now it is a nightmare.
i tried 6 different sleeping meds.
none of them work.
i am back state-side now.
i have no work.
i spend time at the gym and in the bar.
i don't feel young anymore.
i still wonder why were in afghanistan.
i like to think i made a difference.
but sometimes it is hard for me.
i hope things get better.
i shouldn't complain.
i came home in one piece.
i was one of the lucky ones.