She: Do you have a condom?
He: No, we don't need a condom.
She: Why?
He: Well, you know I'm a married man.
She: Well, how do I know you're not fooling around,
with other women besides me?
He: I don't fool around.
You're my only love, baby.
She: Oh bullshit!
He: Listen, I've had a vasectomy, as well.
You're safe on all accounts!
She: Yeah...ok...if you say so.
He: C'mon baby, I wouldn't lie to you.
She: Ok, hon...ooooh...I like it like that!
He: I knew you would.
She: You're a real lover-man!
He: You know it, baby.
She: Hey lover man, what's the matter?
He: Nuthin'. I gotta' take a couple of blue pills.
She: You sure that will work?
He: No doubt about it; just stay sexy!
She: (after 15 minutes), Hey!..where you at, big boy?
He: zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
She: You feel asleep sitting on the toilet, you fool!
He: I'm sorry baby, I guess I drank too much.
She: Get the hell out of here, damned cheater,
and never come back!
He: Hey!...Quit hittin' me, I'm tryin' to put on my pants.
She: Here, take these blue pills with you too!
He: Damn woman!...You are a mean one!
She: Bring condoms next week, you dummy,
and don't drink so much!
He: Ok baby, I'll see you after church, just like always.
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Rich.....nice imagery....love the toilet scene! My only toilet story is when I thought I was dying from the flue and was groaning for help...the wife said..."Oh grow up you baby!" See how I got that word baby in there?
ReplyDeletehey mike...did you get ashes stuck down your throat, from sticking your head in the flue?...lol!..gotcha, baby!
ReplyDeleteRich....no but I really was close to turning blue from that flu....I would have preferred choking on ashes then vomiting baked potatoes, sour creme, bacon bits, celery sticks, green beans, steak, and a substance that resembled green molasses......mj
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