My friend Mike, the T-shirt man from Skywriter T-Shirts in Glen Ellyn Illinois, told me today that, "Plaque is shit on the teeth". I replied to him that, "A plaque is something that an individual hangs on his or her wall." We argued about the spelling of the word. Mike insisted that "plack" is the proper spelling, for the junk on the teeth, and for the wall hanging. I told him that "plack" sounds like "pollak". This sounds horribly, politically incorrect to me. Of course we never consulted his Webster's Dictionary.
Mike and I are both insane. We write rambling bullshit every day. Rather than work at viable trades, we sit in his shop and ponder important things like jelly donuts, and the sizes of breasts on pretty girls, who pass by his shop window. We hope that if or when they smile at us, there is no plaque on their ivory teeth. This makes sense to me. As I was leaving Skywriter T-Shirts today, Mike screamed out the door at me, "Next time you use my bathroom, make sure you don't piss on my floor". He also yelled, "Quit using three paper towels to dry your hands, when one is sufficient." Hmmm. Overhead is a bitch, I guess. What an asshole. Why do I even visit this guy? Why? I guess because I love him, and he flosses every day.