Tuesday, October 5, 2010

PLAQUE=SHIT ON THE TEETH

My friend Mike, the T-shirt man from Skywriter T-Shirts in Glen Ellyn Illinois, told me today that, "Plaque is shit on the teeth". I replied to him that, "A plaque is something that an individual hangs on his or her wall." We argued about the spelling of the word. Mike insisted that "plack" is the proper spelling, for the junk on the teeth, and for the wall hanging. I told him that "plack" sounds like "pollak". This sounds horribly, politically incorrect to me. Of course we never consulted his Webster's Dictionary.

Mike and I are both insane. We write rambling bullshit every day. Rather than work at viable trades, we sit in his shop and ponder important things like jelly donuts, and the sizes of breasts on pretty girls, who pass by his shop window. We hope that if or when they smile at us, there is no plaque on their ivory teeth. This makes sense to me. As I was leaving Skywriter T-Shirts today, Mike screamed out the door at me, "Next time you use my bathroom, make sure you don't piss on my floor". He also yelled, "Quit using three paper towels to dry your hands, when one is sufficient." Hmmm. Overhead is a bitch, I guess. What an asshole. Why do I even visit this guy? Why? I guess because I love him, and he flosses every day.

3 comments:

  1. U KNOW, RICH...YOU NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME...WITH ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU WRITE ABOUT...LOL...I'M SO GLAD TO BE YOUR FRIEND....KEEP WRITING...KEEP PAINTING..KEEP INSPIRING!! ML&R TO YOU!!

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  2. Rich....I might as well confess....I never floss! Now I know that sounds strange coming from such an anal freak... but.......hey, who has time for such silliness? Besides...do you make sure to clean the mirror after that loose plaque/plack comes flying out of the fissures and cracks of your teeth and gums? HMMMMM...how many paper towels does it take to clean the crap off the mirror when you could have let your body go to work and dissolve the harmful bacteria that eats away your enamel?..... Thus becoming greener as no used floss and no used towels to recycle!

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  3. Thank you Kristi...You are so kind!...Mike, you are insane, and I love it!

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