Sunday, April 4, 2010


Today, I sat down after all my chores were done to write a "blog" about remodeling. My wife, Debbie is in a quandry in regard to choosing contractors, cabinets, appliances, floors, backsplashes, fixtures, lighting, countertops, and all the other items needed for a spectacular, new kitchen. Debbie is a big fan of of the home channel...the HGTV network, and I have sat through a plethora of shows showing whiney first time home buyers, gristled old people, remodelers, unscrupulous and scrupulous realtors, old homes, new homes, and homes all over the world...I hope you get the idea. I stare zombielike, at these nebulous presentations. After a while, all of it has a tendency to boggle ones' mind. I am more confused now, about what I like, and want then I was before I started watching these inane TV shows.

As I put pen to paper, Debbie looked at what I was writing and grabbed my notebook! She promptly ripped out my entry, rolled it up into a tight little ball, and shouted at me, saying: "You don't think you're going to share our private lives with all your Facebook friends, do you?!!!" She continued..."This is the last straw!...Are you insane?"

Me, being the sadistic bastard that I am, began chortling and ended up with some huge, belly laughs. I was into her game now! I called her a Nazi, and shouted that she was interfering with my First Amendment Right, to Free Speech! Man!...Was she pissed off at me now! I told her, I would change my blog from "Remodeling" to "Censorship".

This didn't impress her one iota. At about this time, the doorbell rang, and the contractor and his assistant entered the door. Saved by the bell!, I quickly grabbed my pen and paper...I knew I had the chance to write this thing now. I vowed to be FREE and UNCENSORED!

Deb is too busy listening to the contractor's spiel. Please, don't think I'm insensitive. I'm not going to let my dear wife get burned by any of these nefarious characters. I will dutifully shop with her. I will keep my "big trap" shut whene she changes her mind a million times! I will try to be pleasant, through the entire process. I owe this to my sweet lovely soulmate, who I have lived with for 30 years.

In spite of all of this, I will not be censored! I am an American male writer! I am a rough-and-tumble kind of guy! I am a Union man! Posting all my "malarkey" is a God-given right. Still, somehow I am fearful. I will hide these words in my office. My wife never enters the miasma of filth in my studio. She thinks it's a spooky place, where I work! I just hope she doesn't read this Blog! Maybe she'll forget. Otherwise, there will be hell to pay!

Oh well, I can't think about that now. I must watch Federico Fellini's "Nights of Cabiria". It's on my Bucket List to view every Fellini film, before I die. They tried to censor him too! He rose above them all, like a Phoenix.


  1. The thrill of a challenge!!!! Rolled it up in a ball and threw it away!! LMAO

  2. i wrote my story anyway!...I wear the pants in this family!