Tuesday, April 27, 2010


It's cold in this room.
I am afraid.
I've had nothing to eat for days.
There is no work.
No one will have me, looking this way.
My teeth are wiggling in their sockets.
My heart is breaking.
I long for a family...but they are all dead now.
I remember warmth and beauty.
Wealth and good meals.
Wine and laughter.
These thoughts somehow sustain me.
I leave this room to beg.
I need to walk briskly, to keep from freezing.
There are terrible people out there.
They do awful things to me.
I wish them no harm.
They look through me.
I am a ghost.
I once read the Great Books.
I knew of Shakespeare and Kant.
I long for my healthy days.
Age comes too quickly.
I won't have to suffer much longer.
I am in much pain.
Something is broken inside of me.
My strength to fight has left me.
Sometimes, I think it is best to wait for the sub-zero.
I will go outside in the dark, after midnight.
The freeze will only hurt for a little while.
Then I will feel nothing...
I will be numb.
No more pain, will I endure.
As I gaze at the stars, I will think of God.
I will watch little puffs of breath.
I will remember my dear family,
and others who have loved me.
A smile will come to my face.
I will be at peace.
I look at the paintings of my life.
They weren't masterpieces.
My life is worthy to hang on most walls, I guess.
I must accept this.
My breath is more shallow now.
I imagine my sister as she was as a teenager.
She had such beautiful, golden hair.
Now, I see a mustard moon.
All is so beautiful, in this moment...
before I fall asleep.


  1. You are beautiful, Richard!! HAPPY TUESDAY!!!!

  2. Glad this is musing. It does paint a lonely end.