Try to bring that blood pressure down.
I know in my evil heart...
that I have been eating too many cookies and potato chips.
I see some gargantuan people in the waiting room.
I feel sorry for them.
I was once a "biggie".
I was alcoholic.
A chain smoker.
A drug user.
All that is done now!
My life is boring.
No booze, no smokes, no drugs...
In the middle of this thought...
I am called into the office.
I stand up too fast.
I feel woozy.
My weight is good.
My blood pressure is 103/63!
Is this too low?
Am I going to die?
The nurse says it is good.
Next comes the smiling doctor with his rubber glove.
I bend over, and endure the insult.
I cough, as he squeezes my balls.
He gives me a sheet for blood tests.
La dee da.
Off to the lab tommorow.
I must fast 12 hours.
Gotta' check that cholesterol.
Gotta' check those prostate numbers.
Gotta' see if anything evil lurks inside me.
I got a referral for physical therapy.
My poor aching legs, need something, dammit!
I am in pain for 3 years now.
I will not succumb to the vicodin addiction.
3 damn years...my mind is going.
I've survived cancer, surgeries on the legs, emphysema...
all kinds of shit!
I'm still here, baby!...yeah!...That's right.
The Golden Years suck!
Thank God I'm still a stud muffin.
I think I will go Cougar hunting tonight.
I'm gonna' be 61.
That means my MILF has to be 80 or older.