Wednesday, March 31, 2010


I would like to skydive with the "Pussycat Dolls". They would be wearing skimpy bikinis, and we would land at Hef's mansion...We would proceed to the grotto and drink Mojitos and eat "kick-ass" hor-de'-ouvres. I'd like to meet Quentin Tarrantino, Clint Eastwood, Uma Thurman, Steven Hawking, Bob Dylan, and Michael Jordan. I'd visit Australia, Japan, China, Germany, Denmark, France, Holland, and Evil Beaver, California! I'd party at the "Burning Man" festival, fly in the Space Shuttle, Run a sub-three-hour time at the Boston Marathon on Patriot's Day, win a bizarre foods eating contest, have dinner with Mickey Rourke, break the age barrier and win American Idol, at 62! Due to the marvels of modern medicine, I'd like to be able to grow new, wavy hair on my bald head, and walk around without pain. I'd like to live long enough to see our scientists find the secret to eternal life and unlimited joy!

I'd also like to see them find a cure for alcoholism and drug addiction. Then, and only then, would I buy a fifth of good, single-malt scotch, and a bag of primo pot! I'd celebrate my youth and immortality by getting "drunk as a Lord"!

Then I would get bored.

All good things must come to an end. It sure ain't fun hanging around for centuries like some old vampire. I would have done so much "stuff", life wouldn't be fun anymore......We are never fully happy. This is the nature of the human condition. Perfection is impossible, and being perfect wouldn't be fun anyway. If God is Perfect...He must be pretty bummed out!...Hmmmm. At least He doesn't have to die, or make silly lists like me. If He did have to die, I wonder if He'd want to skydive with the Pussycat Dolls?

1 comment:

  1. I would like to skydive with the Pussycat Dolls!!