Wednesday, August 25, 2010

ORGANIC FOOD

One thing I have in common with the rest of humanity, is the love of food. Recently, I visited my daughter on the North Side of Chicago...She lives in Wrigleyville, near the home of the Chicago Cubbies. There are strange shops, drunken young adults, and over-priced restaurants all over the place. It's like the place where Pinocchio went, when he was a bad boy...Las Vegas, for wooden heads, or something very close to it. Anyway, I wanted to take her to lunch as a way of thanking her and her husband for some beautiful Persian rugs, they were giving to my wife and I. After we loaded the carpets, into my utility vehicle, she brought me to an organic restaurant. I expected a nice place with an "organist", who would play dinner music for us...just like at the ball park! What I got was an overpriced menu, with strange entries...I knew this was going to be the lunch from hell. I thought I would be safe with the organic hamburger, but it had the consistency of a soft hockey puck, and it probably tasted like one, although I never did make it a habit of tasting hockey equipment. The healthy burger had no grease running from it, which is a bad, bad sign...There was no fat in the damned thing, and the taste was totally unremarkable, or rather non-existent. The tasteless, healthy slice, of cheese, I had to special order cost me another buck. Even my beloved Heinz Ketchup was organic. I never thought Heinz could stoop so low! My daughter ordered some rabbit food, (a salad), and had little cups of strange looking cheeses, that looked like curdled milk. The cheeses had all kinds of exotic names...I was afraid of botulism! All of our waitresses were pierced and tatooed. They had dark circles under their eyes. They were not vampires, because it was around noon-time. I guess I watch too many "True Blood" episodes! These waitresses reminded me of Holocaust survivors, or anorexic females I have seen from photos, in various Medical Journals. Sitting next to me was a hip, urban mom with a thousand dollar perambulater and two precocious, blonde-haired, little girls. These "sweethearts" were around 3 or 4 years old. They kept themselves busy by kicking my leg, spilling things, and shrieking like cockatiels through the entire meal. The mother of these darlings smiled contentedly at them, and offered me no consolation. So much for Dr. Spock. I wished I had a copy of his book, so I could administer some good, old-fashioned, parental guidance...but alas, this is shamefully, politically incorrect, these days. I grinned like a macabre, monster through this whole disaster. My daughter entertained herself by text messaging her friends, and in between, spoke of the wonders of "hot yoga". Oh well, I was happy to see my kid, and I would take a bullet for her, so this wasn't too bad. The total cost of my adventure, including two meals, tip, and feeding Mayor Daley's parking meter, came to around fifty-bucks. I waved goodbye to my little girl, (28 years old), as I headed back to the Western Suburbs. I hit gridlock on the Eisenhower Expressway at Austin Avenue. It took me an hour-and-a-half, to arive at the local Mc'Donalds, by my house in Wheaton. Man was I hungry! I ordered three, double-cheeseburgers! For three bucks, I was in "hog-heaven". I smiled as the grease dripped out of the sides of my mouth. Now, this was a hamburger!

6 comments:

  1. hmmmm well I could be very very cantakerous about this post but I wont :) I am a vegetarian for many many different reasons but that is besides the point. First off I feel soooooo good not eating meat! I try very hard to be sustainable off our organic garden, canning, freezing ect... I try very hard to feed my family nothing but organic food which is sometimes very expensive. It has become a fad but I think if people do the research they will learn how bad some of these foods "Mc.Donalds" are for you. In closing please please watch Food Inc.! Oh and Richard I just posted some pics of some of my photography....check it out :) luv reading your post.

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  2. Dear Kristi...are you familiar with Genesis? Remember which of Adam's sons was looked on with favor? That's right, it was Able....Why? Because his sacrifice of an unblemished calf was more acceptable than the wheat and vegetables left by his brother Cain! That says it all doesn't it? Or......Maybe we should destroy all of the meat eaters of this world....I say we start with the Tiger...what say you? mj

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  3. Tiger!!! Did you say tiger?? I am a tiger!!! Don't you dare I will hunt you down and enjoy eating every bite of you!!! Let's here it for McDonald's, White Castle, Burger King, Taco Bell, Wendy's (although I am not a big fan of their burgers), Popeye's & KFC!!! Give me my fat. Kills my friends that I eat what I want and never gain a pound. If I stopped smoking cigs I'd be healthy, too! blows the doc away!! It's the tiger in me grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! xxoo

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  4. hey tiger!...ggggrrrrrr!...you can't win a fight with debbie, mike!...she will eat you alive!...lol!

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  5. thanks to Kristi!...I am writing mainly for humor...i eat a lot of veggies and fruits...i work out 2 hours a day in the gym...but i am weak...sob....i love a greasy burger once in a while!...will look at your photos, kristi!

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  6. I am joking! I do my best to ensure we eat a variety of good foods, but hey I like my treats, too & I can't imagine life without some goodies. Exercise, good food, rest, are all good things and absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. A little humor never hurt anyone either & yes your blog did make me laugh!! xxoo

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