TUNNEL MEN

I worked a late shift.
It was the deep tunnel project...
Chicago...Addison and Rockwell.
I was in the main shaft.
It was Friday, and I wanted to go,
to Bill's "Two Way Inn"...
a tavern...
but I had a welding job to finish.
I was pissed-off.
They always did this on the weekend.
I finally got to the bar at seven o'clock.
There they sat, all in a row.
Big men, on little, rickety bar stools.
I knew 'em all.
They'd been drinking for three-hours already.
"Tunnel hands"...
tough guys...
miners,
machine operators,
mechanics,
welders,
electricians...
all rough-and-tumble guys.
They waved and yelled to me:
"Where yah been asshole!"
(I knew I was loved.)
They were loaded to the gills.
Suddenly, a light bulb came on,
in my head.
It was a devilish idea!
I saw the men as dominoes.
If I pushed "Fat Leo",
(who was a biscuit shy of 400 lbs.),
hard, into "Big Byron"...
all ten-or-twelve of them,
would go down, and end up on the floor.
It's simple, elementary physics!
Of course, I was risking my life,
with such an endeavor.
I did it anyway.
I shoved "Fat Leo" with all of my might.
The men went down...
just as I had planned.
I knew I was in for an "ass-whoopin'".
But, I was laughing so hard,
I didn't care.
To my surprise, they all got up,
laughing and joking with me!
Some of the guys, said to me:
"Durty Dick, you are one crazy mutha"...
"har, har, har!"
They bought me a drink for my cruelty,
and quick thinking.
All was good, until they ripped off my cowboy boots,
and jeans, and threw me out in the ten-degree cold,
in my underwear...around midnight.
I miss those tunnel days,
and those red-faced men with calloused hands.
They were larger than life.